Friday, January 11, 2013

How Much Time Do We Have?

 Picture of my parents two years ago last November!
How much time do we have seems to be a question we don't know or don't really want to know. This picture above was taken last Sunday of my niece Kim and sister Penny! Since then mom has totally became confused and we just don't know how much time we have until she doesn't know us. When her hip broke last month we found out the cancer is in the liver... No matter how much time you think you have to prepare you cant! I am so saddened each day and at the end of the day I say I am so tired of being sad... I want my mom back so so bad it hurts to breathe.. She is in no pain and that comforts me but in trade we have to watch her lose her right mind. However the hospice nurse says it is her disease and not the meds.. Oh mama how I love you so very much.. This is the way of life right but I am not ready!!!!
My dad is in Eugene and to drive there takes 45mins to an hour and he might wake up and might not. He continues to lose weight and it saddens me so that they are not together and that I might if I am lucky see him twice a month. His Alzheimer's condition is severely advanced and he will continue to sleep more and more... I miss my dad so so much.. This is the way of life right but I am not ready!!!!
I try to stay positive and still continue to function and go to work but I am so sad especially when my sister Penny is in the same pain I am in, along with all my siblings and extended family... I pray for peace and comfort for all and I believe last night I heard a voice say you are not alone, I will not leave you! That comforts me also..
Good news my nephew Jacob left ICU yesterday after 5 long weeks as of Monday and might be transferred next week to the facility my mom is in. I pray for his speedy recovery as he has a long road ahead.. Thanks for listening to me today! Blessings Pam


  1. Pam, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I went through something similar with my parents. I want you to be sure to say everything you want to your mother and father whether you or the medical staff feel they know what is going on. The medical staff said my mother's brain had stopped functioning yet when I told her my feelings she got tears in her eyes. I know they still understand. These times are not easy and I am sad for you and your family. Peace be with you.

  2. Sending is so hard to watch a parent suffer. Love you

  3. So sorry Pam!I know how hard this is for you!
    Sending hugs, hope and peace.

  4. Nancy,
    Thanks for such a sweet comment.. So appreciated..

  5. Trish,
    Thanks for leaving a sweet comment. We should hook up soon. Do you have facebook? I do now!

  6. Your post brought tears to my eyes, for a total stranger, that you are going through this "life journey" with not one, but both of your parents. I believe 100%, tell them your feelings and pour out your heart to them. They'll hear you and know. Life is fleeting and once they're gone, the window closes on the opportunity to talk to them. Sending a hug through the internet to & prayers for you and your family during this difficult time, because you're never ready.

  7. This is a hard time of life seeing our parents decline as they age. I trust you find peace and comfort during these difficult days.
    Mary Alice

  8. Oh Pam, I am so sorry you are going through this and that your mom and dad are too. It is so hard to lose our parents. You will be in my thoughts and my prayers.
    sending hugs...

  9. Sweet friend, I am so very sorry for the pain you and your family are in. May God hold you all tightly in His hands.


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